Golden Tempo

Timing, intuition, and relationships that set the standard.

i order my second pickle juice margarita. some might call that a tequila pickle martini. as the bartender skewers the pickle slices, a waiter drops off our pigs in blankets.

i laugh to myself about how Katherine-coded the moment is. tequila, pickles, hot dogs, hungover, present, playful, colorful, love-soaked.

by the end of this martini, i’m laughing so hard with my friend, my randomly assigned study abroad roommate who would go on to become one of my favorite humans, that we’re borderline convulsing.

a brutal hangover, a tough month in the rearview AND STILL my cheeks ache from smiling. heart is so full it barely fits in my chest.

study abroad is the type of experience whee you don’t really get to hide behind anything. new environments, culture shock, anxieties, fears, food and health needs, and general preferences. we learned to ebb and flow as best we could, giving grace to ourselves and others. quickly learning one another in order to not just get along, but crush school, explore new corners of the globe beyond our London home base, and frankly, survive some wild encounters and push our safety. this time was incredibly eye-opening for me. i felt so behind and awkward and insecure compared to my peers, which ultimately pushed me to become more myself in order to own my own quiet confidence. i write about it here. no regraaaats.

and what this forged is the type of friendship where you are so seen. after we got home and resettled in our UW-Madison world, we had an option: go back to our former friend groups or choose each other again.

something even more wonderful happened: we threaded many of the groups together in the most natural rhythm and had a legendary college senior year. business school honor roll by day. bar food, shots and dancing by night.

we chose ourselves, owning who we were and what we needed, while still choosing each other and our respective needs and preferences. pushing each other to be better across all topic areas. moving each other out of comfort zones. celebrating it all.

18 years later, we’re still choosing each other.

the walls don’t exist when we’re together. if we’re not sharing something completely unhinged, we know someone isn’t being totally honest. these are the types of relationships that make you feel less alone. even if months break up the flow of our times together, no one would ever sense that.

on this day, i’m hungover and exhausted. she’s tired from some personal things that have brought her back to Milwaukee (she otherwise lives on the east coast). i know i can show up like this hot little mess and be loved. she knows she can show as like she is and be loved. the conversation has depth and range, as per.

this set a standard for my relationships that i'm lucky to consistently experience. but i had to be willing to let myself be seen in order for others to, too.

so with the derby on behind the bar, suddenly we’re betting on the horses (winner picks the shot).

intuition informs my choice. i watch in awe as Golden Tempo comes from soooo far behind to win.

the poetry of the moment is not lost on me.

golden tempo. divine timing. coming from behind. trusting your own pace.

bet on yours.

---

p.s. speaking of coming from behind and trusting timing — my body was my own golden tempo kentucky derby of sorts. years of feeling wrong in it, fighting it, spending a small fortune trying to fix it. it took me a lot of meetings with rock bottom to realize it wasn't broken but it really was running its own race. what I share in Paradox Body is my approach to determining how to get what you want and what you may want to explore on your way — both in your inner and outer world. if your body feels like it's perpetually behind schedule or uncooperative or running short on time, go here.

---

Have a Great Now has a paid tier — and this is what’s included:

Full access to every essay and poem, the fire book as it comes to form — the poems, the stories behind them, the full production process — and the things I’m only willing say to people who show up.

It’s for anyone who wants to be inside a creative process, not just see the finished thing. Anyone who’s in the middle of something and wants to feel less alone in it.

The founding OG Member tier ($111/year) includes a signed copy of the fire book when it’s done — which is less than a subscription and the book separately and significantly helps me keep momentum!